The importance of healthy sibling bonding
“They say that no matter how old you become when you are with your siblings, you revert back to childhood.”
Childhood is all about fun, memories and freedom. It is believed that children who grow up with siblings are happier and in-tune with teamwork and compromise. We all have conflicting feelings when it comes to our siblings. The right thing to do is to inculcate healthy bonding between siblings at a very young age. It not only helps maintain a healthy, happy familial connection but also sets the foundation of how you handle general conflicts in your workspace and with your loved ones, in a positive manner.
The common causes
From unresolved rivalries to general clashes owing to reasons like selective favouritism, children can feel resentful towards their siblings for various reasons. One such common reason for sibling rivalry is difference in personalities. Here are some of the things you can do to control this difference with ease.
Enforce positivity
Shower them with love and positivity! Let your kids see how handling difficult situations positively is extremely rewarding. Get constructive with them and explain them the importance of hearing each other out. This not only settles the dispute but the positive communication equips them with bettering understanding and the skills to handle differences of opinion in the future. Reward them and encourage them with a pat on their backs, quite literally in this case, and let them know they are doing great!
A family is a team
It’s easier if you make it positively challenging for them. Remind them that the family will only work if every member of it functions healthily. Much like the pillars of a structure, if one collapses there is imbalance and instability. Instill the importance of them playing their part in a positive manner and they will reason with you better.
Step in when you need to
Don’t wait for the dust to settle. It is a common misconception that siblings will manage their disagreements if they are given time and left alone. But when a situation demands a third person perspective, it is essential that you take the reins and clear the air out for them a little with reason and positivity. Talking always helps, especially when it comes from caretakers, so don’t shy away from communicating and helping them out.
Never take sides
Sometimes, it is easy for parents to forget that taking sides only increases the animosity they feel towards a sibling. Taking sides, even if one of the children is wrong can come off as favouritism, which is why it is important to hear both of them out and find a middle ground for them to work it out. Remember, you are a team and you can’t take sides!
Respect should be non-negotiable
Let your children understand that respect is a given when it comes to communication, expressing their problems and any form of expression. Never encourage violence and aggression to be included in the equation! This is the one thing you should never compromise on because it induces violent behavior in the child and he or she will be bound to use it in their future relationships.
Getting specific help
When we talk to them, they explain and express. It might be a very timid attempt from their end during the start but the more you encourage them to open up, the more you are bound to understand them and the difficulties they face, when it comes to communicating or accepting their sibling. Let them have a say from the littlest of things to the bigger decisions. This makes them feel important and they automatically become a team player and will be able to handle future conflicts with ease and grace.
Sometimes, the solution is within them
The most effective way to handle disputes is to ask children what they think the solution is. This gets them thinking and once you initiate that, violence and aggression are out of the equation. Under your supervision, they will feel like they are in a safe space, which will help them find a middle ground.
Help build problem solving behaviour
Once children understand that the problem always can be isolated from the loved ones in question, they are much better at looking at things analytically and not emotionally. This helps them to grow up to be level-headed individuals that don’t lose their calm at any given point, no matter the amount of pressure. This is a very important skill that requires honing!
Burning bridges doesn’t help anyone and it is important to remind children that families stick together during ups and downs. Here’s to raising families with children who are healthy in their body, mind and soul!
